Casual Sex Relationships: What to Do When They Get Out of Hand

Are you in a casual sex relationship with a friend and concerned that your feelings for him are getting too serious? Are you worried that you are falling harder and harder for this guy who may not be interested in you romantically at all? Do you find yourself thinking about him all the time and having to stop yourself from calling or texting him just so that you don’t seem desperate? If any of this sounds like you, you might be in trouble. It’s time to figure out how to get out of this pseudo-relationship before you find yourself heartbroken.

Most of us have been in similar situations. The idea of a “friend with benefits” seems like a universal win. You don’t have the hassle of a full-on romantic relationship, but you still get to have an emotional (if platonic) connection with someone — and get laid, to boot. The problem here is that men are wired very differently from women, especially when it comes to sex. Men can easily have lots of sex with lots of different partners without becoming emotionally or psychologically attached. Women, however, have a few roadblocks in casual sex relationships.

Women tend to identify with and care for their sexual partners far more easily than men do. This is not to say that the situation never happens in reverse, but it is far more likely that a woman will start falling for her casual sex partner than a man will his — and that spells danger for you!

Recognize that the situation is not likely to change. It’s unrealistic to expect or even hope that the relationship’s boundaries will change simply because your level of interest has changed. If you are actually platonic friends with this man, it is even more important to end the relationship before your expectations get out of hand for the sake of salvaging the friendship.

So what do you do? Do nothing! Stop having sex with him. Stop spending time with him alone. Put some space between you and your (former) casual sex partner for a while. Go on dates with other guys to get your mind off of him. Let his phone calls go to voicemail. If you can’t avoid seeing him, invite other trusted mutual friends to the gathering to run defense for you. The bottom line is that you absolutely have to end the sexual relationship NOW, before things get even more out of hand.

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